Saturday, August 22, 2015

The Birthday Present


Birthday day is here!
He's 43.

I asked him all week.. "What do you want for your birthday??"
What a question huh??!
What he wants is out of the realm of my capability.
I'm no miracle maker.

He told me to get the boys something.
He wanted them to open presents on this Sunday morning.

And so they did. 
Here it is. 
Present time....

A special letter from their dad was included in this present...






For my sons on my 43rd Birthday.
I want to talk about Time.
Time matters.
They say that men are given the gift if time.
That's true.

In my case the time I've had with my boys is short. I hope we have treasured it. Be thankful everyday that you have more time to appreciate and love the things that matter to you. 

For me- that has been you boys.
Time has been precious since I became your dad.
Time is one thing that you can never get back.
Once it's gone,it becomes our memories-make sure that you build great memories with your time.
When you boys grow up, make the most of your time.

Love your Dad.



Today, on his 43rd birthday, Sheldon gave his three sons a watch. And the reminder that time is precious. 


Time is precious.
And fleeting.
And today it belongs to our birthday boy.




Thursday, August 6, 2015

Finding Beautiful

'Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.' -Mark Twain

I want to tell you about some of the moments that have made these days bearable. The beautiful moments that are the load bearing beams in this horrendous structure that has become our reality.

Beautiful came in a canvas.
It's the commissioned artwork that arrived and as the sun sets through our lounge room window this piece of art manages to capture a sense of the beautiful... a moment of the beautiful.

Beautiful came in a cake.
The neighbor who noticed the cars arriving and who found out the reason and so she baked delicious goodies for us. It's beautiful. It's kindness.

Beautiful came in words.
The messages I have received. The wife who recently said that final goodbye to her husband and sends me her love and strength. She knows the valleys I walk. She doesn't know me but she loves me in these days. That's beautiful. 
The 8 year old sweetheart who lives 1000 Kms away and yet has been moved to pray for our family because she heard our story. She teaches her world how to be compassionate and faith-filled. She doesn't know us and doesn't need to- she operates in the beautiful and in kindness.

Here is beautiful on a massive, community scale.
The cards. The piles of cards.


 

I guessed at this strategy to help make these days easier. I couldn't have guessed at how generous and whole heartedly we have been enveloped by you. Each day these cards divert our attention away from morphine pumps and we enjoy the words of cheer. We comment on the kindness of strangers and we shed tears when memories are reminded. So very beautiful. 

Beautiful looks like the offers to cook and clean.
It sounds like the tears and sighs of my dearest people as they suffer to make sense of this.
It is the relentless peace.
The abiding presence in this valley of shadows.

Beautiful was found in a Monday morning last week. 
A perfect morning at our beach.
It was the Monday before a week of palliative care and unbearable pain.
Beautiful was found and captured in the lens of a camera.
Images that show our heartbroken joy.
Cherished conversation between a fading dad and his sons. His sons who cling to him with little arms wrapped so tight. They would hold him here with just their strength of adoration. Oh... If only we could. 
We will treasure these images. The video that shows us laughing and crying in equal measure. Those pictures of bright paper planes on a perfect Monday morning and my boys who threw them with joyous abandon. Beautiful. 


It's a difficult path we find ourselves on today.
We stepped further into that shadowed valley this week. 
And here.. Even here in the dark and terrifying place we trudge through... I find beautiful. 
The best beautiful I find is this collision of heartache and grace.
Sheldon has proclaimed at every moment of this track that he knows that he will never be left alone. He knows... he KNOWS.... That he is held close by Jesus. 
And that is beautiful.


We are finding beautiful. 
It's actually ingrained into the fabric of these moments.
How amazing. 
Cancer doesn't win, hey...
Cancer is a murderous thief.
But it doesn't win. 
Beautiful wins. 
Kindness wins.
Grace wins.