Room for light..

The presence of a friend in a dark moment makes a difference. It's like being locked in a dark room and a candle is lit.
 It is a warm flicker... a reassuring glow.
It pushes back at the overwhelming shadow.
It gives space to illumination.

You need illumination on dark days.

Our dark moment has not seen us consumed by shadows.
Truly dreadful news has the potential to do that- consume you.
Cancer. The very sound of that word, threatens to do that- consume you.
Chemotherapy. The very idea of how far a body can be pushed, threatens to do that- consume you.

I have been through the darkest days I have ever known in the past few weeks. I was not consumed by the shadows.
"..I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."
We walked through.
We are still walking through.
How easy it is to stop in that valley. To be consumed by the shadows of fear and to stop. To make camp by the town of "It's just not fair" and just stop.

Stopping wasn't really an option for me. All those phone calls and messages and hugs. I know people in our life have felt powerless during this time.
Each prayer you prayed on our behalf- mattered.
Each tear you cried on our behalf- mattered.
You helped us push back the shadows.

The very worst moments happen at the lowest point of the shadowed valley. Imagination runs rampart in the depths of this valley. My imagination has wandered down many paths- the darkest path called "It's terminal". That is a dark shadow to wade through...to push back.
How blessed am I to have people in my world who know what it means to exist and trade in LIGHT.
You helped me push back the shadows.

Walking through any valley you face comes down to this: the decision to walk... one step at a time.
A choice
A step
One step, one day, one at a time.

I'm holding on to a few things while we wait...
wait for oncology appointments
wait for treatment
wait for cancer to be out of his body
wait for healing
wait...

I'm holding onto fragments of light....
They occupy the places that used to be filled with a now vacating shadow.

No matter how dark the shadow or how deep the valley, there is always room for light.
You see.. the beauty of light is that the space it takes up is created from the matter of darkness.
No matter how dark the moment...
There is always room for light.