Kindness Wins

People have been asking how the boys are going. It's something that weighs on my mind. Alot.
I'm watching them.
Are they coping?
Crying at seemingly ridiculous things? (Matthew can't get his laces to do up on his school shoes - melt down time)
Sleeping okay?

We have our moments.
Sometimes the graciousness of forgetting means that they live like Daddy will be around forever.
And at other times they know. They cuddle a little longer.
They linger around him and ask questions.
The other night while Sheldon was tucking them in, one of the twins asked him if he was still dying.
I can't bear it in those moments.
The burden crushes me and its all just too much.
But then we had our Saturday of kindness.

We saw and watched as the crowd grew.
People we see everyday and  some  we haven't seen for years turned up.
Put aside their agenda for the afternoon and came to walk for us.
When our boys reflect and remember these days that were amongst the last, this day will shine.
It will overshadow the days of pain and sadness.
Because kindness wins.

We talk alot about cancer being a battle.
And it is.
We fight.
We rally warriors.
We bunker down in trenches of hoapital wards and chemo units.
We win some.
We lose some.
And in these current days we are walking  through, it's sometimes easy to concede ground to cancer.
I see subtle signs.
It's the thief that steals that energy he always had.
And it's easy to be sad.
And angry.
And despondent.

But then we have a day like Saturday.
And the tide turns.
The battle weary despondency drops off  our shoulders, a weight that I'm glad to see go.
Because something happens when we know that people have our back.
Something beautiful.
Something profound.
Something that feels alot like grace. And hope.

And so.. how are the boys going?
They marched with an army on Saturday. They pushed back the dread of cancer and the threat of coming days.
They laughed and ate countless icy cups.
But most importantly. They saw kindness personified.
They knew what it is to be utterly surrounded by Kindness.
Kindness wins.

Thank you.