That magnificent tension...

I am standing between the spectacular tension of the beautiful and the tragic. That's how I would describe this season of life. Beautifully tragic. Tragically beautiful.

When the tragic threatens to overwhelm, the beautiful is present... Sweeping away all deep sadness and reminding us that the world really is worth lifting up our heads and opening up our eyes to see.

My beautiful is my sons.
My beautiful is a message from a friend.
My beautiful is my husbands laughter.
My beautiful is hearing that song.
My beautiful is a really good coffee.
My beautiful is the subtle reminders of grace.
My beautiful is the not so subtle reality of grace.
My beautiful is this deep and abiding peace that I am graced with afresh each sunrise.

When tragic moments face us it is easy and often expected that we lose all sense of anything but the noise of tragedy. And tragedy is noisy. It has a loud, booming sound that reverberates on the inside of us, unsettling us with its existence.
I know it well... That place where I hear it. I have sat and cried there...
Quietly in the noise of the tragedy of the diagnosis of my darlings cancer. I have been assaulted by that cacophony of soundless grief. The what if's and the maybe's and the wondering how's...

And in that moment..
In that tragic noise...
Something beautiful has happened.

The magnificent tension has happened.

The truly tragic has been matched with the truly beautiful and I find myself smiling.

I find myself staring at the tragic from the place of something beautiful. Someplace wonderful.


I think this is how Jesus might have faced the cross.
The monstrous tragedy of His sacrifice was tinged with the beauty of His reward.
The horrendous grief of separation from His rightful majesty was coupled with the astounding beauty of my salvation.

My salvation is found in that magnificent tension of Calvary. The beautifully tragic moment of sacrifice.

If we were left to tragedy, without the tinges of beauty to be a calming balm, how desperate we would be.
But we are never given over to pure tragedy in all fullness.

All we need to do is lift up our heads and open our eyes.
Something beautiful is waiting in the midst of booming tragedy.
Some peace is waiting in the centre of some tragic storm.

And that is where we are.... Experiencing the magnificent tension.